"Single Parenting in Heels"
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"Single Parenting in Heels" http://motherhoodinstilettos.blogspot.com/search/label/Single%20Parenting
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During the Walk For Lupus Now – Raleigh event, the team captain made a statement about me hobbling around with my crown and crutch. She then asked me why I made the trip with my “condition”. My reply was I wasn’t driving a stick shift and my left leg was sprained not my right. On my ride back, I thought about this statement. It was then that I realized how very few people have that can-do attitude no matter what. The team captain is also one of those people who will get things done no matter what and I have experienced her achieving many unbelievable tasks in any situations, nevertheless the obstacles that constantly present themselves with her.
I than thought about a parent at my son’s school that stated she noticed I always do what I say I will do unless some unpreventable event stops me. But that is the way I was brought up. Your word is all you have that can never be taken away from someone else. I don’t understand why some people say they will do something when they know they probably will not get it done. I often wonder if we have lost the important things of the human race like honesty, trust and loyalty as technology continues to improve. I wonder if communicating via text message instead of face to face is making it easier to lie. I think about an incident with my son and it gives me hope for the future but also makes me realize how easy it is for the line of right and wrong to constantly be moved back. While my aunt was in ICU, the sign stated children under 12 could not go past the 3rd floor. (I later realized the sign said in most cases.) One day in the waiting room, I told my son to make sure he did not get too loud because of what the sign said. He immediately became concerned and said we must leave right away because we were breaking the rules. I did not want to tell him it was okay to break the rules but told him the security officers and hospital officials saw him so it must have been okay for him to be there. While the fact is it was fine for him to be there, I never checked to be sure it was okay before making that statement. That is one of the many great things we can learn from children, they give us the opportunity to check our moral compasses and make adjustments when necessary. So I will now make sure I follow the rules, no matter how crippling it may be. I will continue being a good example because I believe everyone wears some type of crown because we should all be positive examples to one another. We should have each other to learn on to give us the extra support to realize what is right and wrong and to remember what is truly important in the world. The best way I can describe the past few weeks is as a crazy whirlwind although it seemed to me like I was in the eye of a tornado. I’ve been so busy traveling and living life that when I look on the outside, it seems like a whirlwind. Despite this, I have enjoyed myself along the way. It has been so much fun making appearances and I have been able to let so many people know about Lupus. For instance, countless people came up to me in the cafeteria in Washington, D.C. and I was able to let them know why I was there and talk a little about Lupus. When people see my sash, they ask me about the pageant and I’m able talk about my platform, Lupus. I entered the pageant to try another avenue to bring Lupus Awareness and I have already been able to talk to so many people about it in just a short amount of time. The more I do it, the easier it is to bring the subject up. At first it seemed a little weird to bring up the fact that I was diagnosed with Lupus during my freshman year of college. I wondered what if the word got out. How would it affect future employment, although that’s highly illegal? And so many other questions came to mind. But I’m determined this is my destiny. I have never let fear get in my way and I refuse to let it now. So if I must be one of many that were put on this earth to talk about this disease, so be it. The past weekend reminded me how fortunate I am for my Lupus to have been in “remission” for so many years. I am truly blessed and I just hope I can continue receiving great success during the remainder of my reign.
Two weeks ago I was crowned Mrs. North Carolina Essence 2011. One of the questions on the interview sheet asked for our motto in life, I was latter asked more about it. I joked, to the contestants, that my motto is really “It is what it is”’ but “Expect the Unexpected” sounded more polished. So in the way real life works, I am up at almost 2 am, experiencing the unexpected. I very rarely go to bed early and last night was one of those few and precious nights. I was awaken around 1 am to a child that said they did not feel good. My first instinct was to give him some orange juice and I let him have an apple per his request. I later realized that was not a good idea because it would mean waiting to take his temperature orally.
So here are a few of the many unexpected things that have happened to me. Although I wanted to do the pageant, I did not think I was going to be able to do it until 3 days prior. I had to run around town and find everything I needed for the pageant. The following week I visited a friend so my son could play with her kids while I studied. I stayed so long I was too tired to drive home. I spent the night to be awaken in the middle of the night to her saying she was going to the emergency room. And of course there is today when I am up at nearly 2 am counting down the time to take my son’s temperature. Then I can make a determination as to if I need to call his doctor, go to the emergency room, or just send him to school tomorrow. Since he has not been sick in years, I do not have a clue where the nice ear thermometer is that I have not used since we have moved. While there are many unnexpected things that went bad, too many to name, I have experienced so many unexpected positive things over the past few weeks. To start, I really enjoyed myself at the pageant and met some amazing women and young ladies. Although I had met a few “pageant girls” while my friend was competing in prior years, this was the first time I had a chance to really spend time with some. I was trully impressed by the knowledge, maturity and values in these young ladies. I have also had the opportunity to volunteer and learn more about Bright Blessings. This nonprofit provides birthday parties for homeless children primarily. Hearing about what they do makes me appreciate the little things in life. We often take small things for granted but thinking that some children have to spend their brithdays, or any day, living in a shelter or even a car or worse, is heart breaking. It opened my eyes to the reality of what many people have to experience. And finally, my son getting sick tonight. Although it is truly an inconvenience to my plans, I am thankful I do not have a job I have to go to in a few hours or need to scramble to find a last minute baby sitter. My son has only been sick once, not counting now, in his life. I thank God that I can be there for him and take care of him. I have had many unexpected misfortunes over the past few weeks but they have all made me take the time and be thankful for something I took for granted. I think “Expect the Unexpected” will be my slogan for the year while having my title. The truth is unexpected things happen in life. Although the unexpected is usually something bad in our view, there is always a positive side and a learning experience we can take from it. So although we can not prevent the unexpected from happening, we can use the experinces to help us grow and become a better person. The most unexpected thing just happened as I was finishing up this entry. As I’m laying in the bed with my son, awaiting the time to take his temperature, he started laughing in his sleep. I don’t know if you have ever experienced it but seeing a child laughing in their sleep is one of the most enjoyable, comforting things I have ever experienced. I used to see it often while he was a baby but haven’t “watched” him sleep lately. Once again, it makes me realize how blessed I truly am, despite everything. I am looking forward to see what the next unexpected experience awaits. This is the last Saturday of my 20s. While laying down, I began thinking of things I have accomplished in my lifetime. I was suddenly disappointed at the things I had not done. In an urge to prevent a repeat at 40, I decided to write a list of 40 things to do before 40. I didn’t want anything that was unlikely to happen; like winning the lottery or even trying to see 50 states as one goal; but achievable goals that I probably would not have done if it was not on a list. There are many goals I have that are not on the list but these are things that I am currently working towards. As I started the list, I immediately put things like learning to sew and a few places to visit. I then realized I needed 46 more items. I searched over 50 websites to try to get ideas. After reading other people’s lists, I realized I have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. The last 29 years have not been wasted. While I have yet to learn Spanish, I was fluent in French at one time. I haven’t visited every continent but I have been to many places, seen many things, and done many activities. While I have not fulfilled my current goals, I have done so many past goals. But isn’t that the point of life? Set goals, accomplish them, set new ones, and the cycle continues. So I’ve written my list of 40 things to do before 40. At only 4 items a year, I believe it can easily be accomplished. I’ll try to update my blog weekly to keep myself motivated to complete the tasks. While many of the tasks are enjoyable, some will involve a lot of hard work and dedication. But they are all things I’ve talked or thought about doing on several occasions but have never done them. The next 10 years should be interesting. Wish me luck!
1) Learn to sew 2) Visit Mount Rushmore 3) Visit the Grand Canyon 4) Go to Vegas 5) Start and maintain a garden 6) Buy a luxury vehicle over $50,000 7) See a Rain forest 8) Learn ballroom dancing 9) Learn to play the guitar 10) Write a will 11) Develop a fun/supportive circle of friends 12) Get paid for what I’m passionate about 13) Freshen up m French to fluency again 14) Get a dog 15) Have another child (adoption or biological) 16) Take a gourmet cooking course 17) Learn how to knit 18) Go white water rafting 19) Go snowmobiling 20) Learn how to swim 21) Drive a race car on a track 22) Visit Alaska 23) Ride a hot air balloon 24) Learn martial arts Visit all continents 25) Africa – Egypt and the Pyramids 26) Antarctica 27) Asia 28) Europe-Paris 29) Swiss Alps (Europe) 30) Italy (Europe) 31) Australia 32) Throw a backyard party 33) Go to Hawaii 34) Enter a national pageant 35) Go clay shooting 36) Learn to crochet 37) Learn Spanish 38) Learn how to develop film 39) Scuba Dive 40) Have a Flying Lesson Last week, I decided to venture out of the house after my surgery. 3 weeks in bed would give anyone cabin fever. For someone like me, it’s the worst thing ever! Although I still don’t have use of my right hand, I just wanted to get and do something, anything. I decided I could take walk to my car and get a book I realized I left. It took me about an hour to throw on a pair of jeans, tee-shirt, a hat and brush my teeth. (You try getting dress without your dominant hand and not touching it or your foot to avoid terrible pain.) I could have left on my pajamas but I was tired of that uniform. I actually wrote my first blog last week while on my Way to Georgia. It was misplaced between Georgia and Charlotte. The ironic part is the topic was about adaptation. I wrote about how my son was given a 9 month old Reeves turtle. The turtle, Franklin, had been living in a small beta tank. The employees at the Pet store told me the 10 galloon tank l bought would only last a little while. Despite this, Franklin was so happy to be in his new tank. The instant he was placed inside, he began flipping over and swam around the tank to explore his new surroundings. As I began to investigate the various types of green turtles, I began to realize a species of green turtles may not exist after all. In fact, Franklin was covered with algae. This turtle had learned to adapt in some of the worst possible conditions. Despite the lack of water that prevented him from practicing swimming or the lack of sunlight he didn't receive because of not having UV lights, he survived. |
AuthorI'm a wife and mother that is always involved in something like every other mom in the world. Archives
August 2012
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